♪ Well now, friends just lend an ear ♪
♪ For you're now about to hear ♪
♪ The ballad of Cat Ballou ♪
♪ It's the song that's newly made ♪
♪ And Professor Samuel Shade ♪
♪ And the Sunrise Kid are singing it for you ♪
♪ Cat Ballou ♪
♪ It's a hangin' day ♪
♪ In Wolf City, Wyoming ♪
♪ Wolf City, Wyoming ♪
♪ 1894 ♪
♪ They're gonna drop Cat Ballou ♪
♪ Through the gallows's floor ♪
♪ She killed a man in Wolf City, Wyoming ♪
♪ Wolf City, Wyoming ♪
♪ Killed a man It's true ♪
♪ And that is why they're a-hangin' ♪
♪ Hangin' Cat Ballou ♪
♪ She has the smile of an angel ♪
♪ Fights like the devil ♪
♪ The eyes of an angel ♪ ♪ Bites like the devil ♪
♪ The face of an angel ♪ I say she's the devil ♪
♪ She's mean and evil through and through ♪
♪ Cat Ballou ♪
♪ She's mean and evil through and through ♪
♪ Pray, Jezebel, pray ♪
♪ If ye would seek salvation ♪
♪ Pray, Jezebel, pray ♪
♪ Cat Ballou ♪
♪ Pray, Jezebel, pray ♪
♪ Cat Ballou ♪
♪ If ye would seek salvation ♪
♪ Cat Ballou ♪
♪ Pray, Jezebel, pray ♪
♪ Cat Ballou ♪
♪ Cat, your time has come ♪
♪ As you stand on the brink ♪
♪ It's sure makin' you think ♪
♪ About your life ♪
♪ Of sin ♪
♪ How come they're now ♪
♪ Gonna hang you ♪
♪ And how did you ♪
♪ Begin ♪♪
Sumpqua! Sumpqua! All out for Sumpqua.
All aboard.
Here you stand, Catherine, on the threshold of life.
You have graduated from my academy with a first-rate education.
Uh-huh!
Fully equipped to deal with the misery,
unhappiness and stupidity on every hand.
Teach as I taught you.
Oh, well, that man looks clean at least.
This here man is in my custody, and I don't want nobody near him.
Oh, don't look at him, Catherine.
Oh, a man of God.
- Sir, would you look after this girl? - Board!
All aboard! Oh, Catherine.
You were a good student, and I know you'll be a good teacher.
I have to go. Oh, Mrs. Parker.
All aboard. Good-bye, darling. Be a good girl.
Miss Parker didn't introduce us. I'm Catherine Ballou.
I'm drunk as a skunk.
Apologize for bein' in this disgustin' condition.
I assure you I'll not inflict myself on you further.
First time in my life I ever drank.
Took the pledge at the age of eight at the Temperance Meetin' in Gratzburg, Montana.
You remember that?
Ah, it was a great outpourin' of the spirit.
And I'll not inflict myself on you any further.
Thank you.
Tennyson.
Spins a good yarn, does he, Tennyson?
He's a great poet. Poet?
May I?
"I stepped out of the dark barroom into the street,
where the sun beats down unmerciful,
and Bent stood, hollerin', 'Come on out, Kid Shelleen.
I'm gonna blow you clear out of Tombstone and into hell!"'
Tennyson's a good poet.
"Kid Shelleen and the Massacre of Whiskey Slide."
Ma'am, I apologize for my disgustin' condition.
I assure you I will not inflict myself on you any further.
I wish there was something I could do.
Oh, you're very kind, but I got here all the help he'll need.
That's very true. There are good things in the Bible for a time like this.
Oh, ain't there, though? This berth next, young lady.
If you'll just step into the aisle.
Oh, excuse me, ma'am. Sorry.
I reckon I won't never see you no more.
It's been a pleasure knowin' you.
Good-bye. Good-bye.
Yeah?
Hallelujah, brother!
I am here to comfort the sinner and return the stray lamb to the fold.
Let him who's troubled- You got a match?
Go on.
Yeah, yeah. Hallelujah, brother!
I am here to comfort the sinner and return the stray lamb to the fold.
Let him who's troubled, let him who's-Thanks.
You're welcome. You was, uh, sayin'?
Yeah, yeah, uh-
Hallelujah, brother! I am here to comfort the sinner...
and-and-and all like that.
Now, just a minute, pilgrim.
All right. Come on in.
My poor fella, are there any particular verses you'd like to hear?
Ha! Told ya.
He's about as religious as a hog.
Well, there's bound to be something in here that could help him.
Keep every Sheriff easy, move. I mean-
Hands over your head.
Sure glad to see you, Uncle Jed. Likewise.
Now, keep him covered now. Open wide. Yeah.
All right, come on, now.
Handcuff him to that pipe down there. Yeah.
Hit him. Hit him!
Hit him!
Hold him! I'll hit him.
Pick up the stuff. I'll cuff him to the pipe.
Come on!
Let me have one of them guns. Didn't you take his?
Didn't you? Oh, Lordy, he's gonna blast himself free. Go ahead, jump.
Jump?
Jump!
What-What happened? He freed my prisoner.
Who did? That Bible thumper that was sittin' with the girl.
You mean that young lady in lower five? Yeah, that's her.
Please.
- Right here. - Hey, you in there. Hey, girl!
Come on, miss. Wake up. The sheriff wants to talk to you.
Come on. Wake up. Wake up.
The parson you was sittin' with, where'd he go? Did you see him?
And my prisoner. Maybe he's in the next car. Come on.
Oh, I shouldn't have done that.
Oh, sure you should, honey.
No question about it in my mind at all.
It was morally wrong.
But it happened so fast, I didn't know what to think.
I-I was afraid he'd hurt you.
That's right. That's right.
You know, he'd a-blowed my head off.
Huh? What are you doing?
Oh, I got a catarrhal condition.
Well, you're- you're too close. Scootch back.
Oh, well, don't think I was offerin' unwelcome advances.
I put women on a pedestal. I do.
Further.
I'm smack up against the side right now.
It's gonna get mighty uncomfortable.
You're not gonna be in here long enough for that.
You've gotta get out of here the moment it's safe. That's what I'm anxious to do.
You think I care to stay any longer than needed?
There are still people out there.
Darn!
I guess I'll just have to stay put then,
even though it goes against my very grain.
You take your arm away this second! Hmm? Oh!
Listen, I am supposed to be a schoolteacher. I'll scream.
Hey!
I was only gonna see if the coast is clear.
Gents out there with shotguns.
Oh, what are we gonna do? You can't stay here.
Oh, Lordy, I hate shotguns. Don't you?
I mean, they leave such an oozy corpse.
But there's one chance in a hundred I can make it.
I'm gonna take that chance for your sake,
you bein' a schoolteacher and all.
No, wait! No, no, no.
I'd rather get cut down in the prime of my young manhood...
than risk compromising a nice girl like you.
Here. Oh!
If they get me, though, I want you should have my watch and chain.
Oh, this is awful!
Ain't it, though?
You get away!
Well, I just gotta watch what's goin' on, don't I?
I'll do the watching. You get away.
I thought you were lying.
You mean I wasn't?
All right, let's get this one.
They're searching the berths.
What's your name, so's I can vote for you next election?
Catherine Ballou. Mine's Clay Boone.
Good-bye, Miss Ballou.
Yahoo!
♪ Cat Ballou, she lived ♪
♪ In Wolf City, Wyoming ♪
♪ And folks here in Wyoming ♪
♪ Live high off the hog ♪
♪ That brand new firm Sears and Roebuck ♪
♪ Send them their catalog ♪
♪ It's an upright town ♪ Yeah.
♪ With kind, wonderful people ♪ Oh?
♪ Reliable people ♪ Sure.
♪ Friendly as can be ♪ So they say.
♪ When they say howdy they mean it ♪ Ha!
♪ Yup, they're neighborly ♪ ♪ Yup, yup, yup, yup yup, yup, yup, yup ♪
♪ If only Cat had behaved ♪ ♪ These folks would befriend her ♪
♪ If Cat had behaved ♪ ♪ Their hearts they would lend her ♪
♪ But Cat was depraved ♪ ♪ To hell now they'll send her ♪
♪ She could have lived like others do ♪
♪ Cat Ballou ♪
♪ Wicked through and through ♪
♪ They'll now be hangin' Cat Ballou ♪♪
Papa, what happened?
That corral used to be full of horses. I got tired of them horses.
I sold 'em all off to the army at Fort Huckabee, and good luck to 'em.
You spent as much time raising those horses as you did raising me.
And the house-you haven't had that painted since I left!
Well, I like it that way... all gray and weathered and full of splinters.
Papa-Oh, come on, honey.
This here's my new bronc buster.
This is my daughter, Catherine. Shalom alechem, Jackson Two-Bears.
Mr. Ballou, what's the use of saying shalom alechem to me?
I'm a full Sioux Indian. I'm not one of the chosen people.
All right, go ahead bein' stubborn if you want. I ain't stubborn.
Oh, not much you ain't.
You know, according to an ex-congressman of these United States...
I heard give a lecture at the Chautauqua this winter,
Injuns is the lost tribe of Israel.
But he won't admit it. Just ain't true.
He was an ex-congressman of these United States, I tell ya.
Papa, maybe he was mistaken. Why, no, he was not.
Jackson's just got a mean, stubborn streak in him is all.
I brought Mr. Bernstein, the telegraph operator,
out here from town last month, and he stood right where you're standing now...
and he talked Hebrew at Jackson for ten minutes by my watch...
and Jackson pretended he didn't understand a word.
Now, I call that stubborn! Well, I didn't understand a word.
You see what I mean?
Now, you get that trunk down out of there. I'll get the satchel.
Jackson, what's happening?
Your old man's got some roughshod ways.
He's rubbed people the wrong way around here.
But he's a sweet old bear. He wouldn't hurt anybody.
Why, don't you think I know that?
Nobody in this whole county would give me a job,
as though I was responsible for what my people done to General Custer.
I swear, I was a little baby at the time.
But your daddy, well, he gave me a job right off.
Full wages too.
I guess I respect and admire him more'n I ever done anybody.
This used to be the best spread in the whole valley.
Well, the town's got a big outfit movin' in-
build factories,
make a real city of Wolf City.
They want your daddy's water rights. He won't sell, and-
I'm going to build us lunch as soon as we get this trunk inside.
Papa, I'm gonna do the cooking now.
I'm gonna take care of you.
Frankie Ballou?
Beat it, you.
I didn't mean to scream, but he came out of nowhere.
And that nose! Who is he, Papa? Give me a hand, Jackson.
Papa, who is he? Tim Strawn, I'll betcha.
When I say shalom alechem to you, you don't know nothin'.
Now suddenly, you're a mine of information! Jackson, who is he?
He's a murderer, a hired killer. His nose was bit off in a fight.
If I was gonna be scared, I'd be scared of the fella who bit it off, not him.
Papa-I can take care of myself, Catherine.
I always have and I always will. Don't let it bother you none. It don't bother me.
Papa, you've gotta do something about it.
What we're gonna do, Catherine, is go on livin'.
We're gonna eat and we're gonna sleep and we're gonna work.
And tomorrow, we're gonna go celebrate the Fall Harvest Day.
Take care of the horses, Jackson.
Mabel.
Hey. Well.
Now, there's a game for a sheriff- liar's poker.
We got our unemployed off the streets...
and made Wolf City safe all in one brilliant stroke.
They grabbed Ed Cardigan for sheriff.
Oh, he's good. He's too lazy to steal and too dumb to-
Ballou! I'll ask you to show a little respect for these ladies-
Take off your hat. You're meetin' my daughter, Catherine.
Well, I'll be damned. If it ain't little-
Cardigan, you can talk to me any way you please.
You're talkin' to my daughter, so watch your damn language!
Nice to see you back in Wolf City, Miss Ballou.
You got any idea who forked about a ton of manure down my well?
Well, no.
Some sheriff.
Come on, Catherine.
Are you really a sheriff?
Why is it hard to believe?
Well, why don't you help him?
I think someone's poisoned that water to drive him off his ranch.
That's what I think.
Yesterday, a man named Strawn came to the house-
Miss Catherine, there are certain ramifications...
to peace officerin' that you wouldn't understand.
Now, please, believe me. I'm taking care of it my way.
What ramifications?
Don't you worry your pretty little head about it.
You go ahead and have a good time.
Oh!
♪♪
Jackson, am I mad.
I know. I saw you talkin' to Sheriff Cardigan.
Ooh, he's- just like Papa.
He pats me on the head and tells me to run along.
What am I gonna do?
They got a gunfighter.
You get a gunfighter.
Jackson, there's a funny, inscrutable look on your face.
I can't tell if you're making fun of me or not.
Wouldn't nobody bother your daddy with old Wild Bill Hickok or Bat Masterson around.
Come on, Jackson.
♪♪ Come on.
♪ Forward up and back you go Forward again with a do Si do ♪
♪ All join hands and form a ring ♪
♪ And circle to the left with the dear little thing ♪
♪♪ Who could I get?
Kid Shelleen. There really is a Kid Shelleen?
I thought he was just in books. He's real.
One of the best of 'em to my way of thinkin'.
Well, what can I do? You can write him a letter. I'll mail it.
No call to dance with Jackson? No call not to.
He's an Injun.
Scream!
I like Jackson. You're gonna make trouble for him.
Oh, look who's talking about trouble.
♪ Hand over hand Go around the ring ♪
♪ When you meet your partner, give her a swing ♪
What are you doing here? Looking for you.
You're an outlaw! Sure am. Got a price on my head.
Shh! Twenty-five dollars for Jed, thirty-five dollars for me.
I wanna thank you, ma'am, for all your help to my nephew and I.
Where are you staying? On the run, ma'am, hidin' out in the crowd.
Won't inflict myself on you any further.
♪ Swing and whirl your pretty little thing ♪
♪ Then face your partner and leave the ring ♪
Have you got a gun? Sure do.
Come home with me tonight. Say, "Please."
Please!
♪ Circle eight and go around the town ♪
♪ Swing your gal if she ain't too tall ♪
♪ With her head in the kitchen and her feet in the hall ♪
♪ Watch your partner Watch her grin ♪
♪ Muss up her hair and kick her in the shins ♪
You dance so well.
Simple, like some we learn on the reservation.
Buffalo dance, rain dance, war dance.
Is the square dance anything like a war dance?
This one is.
I wanna talk to you, Lo. My name isn't Lo.
Wait a minute. Isn't it?
I thought it was Lo-
the poor Indian.
Well, it's Custer's Last Stand all over, with me in the middle.
Hey!
Come on, you! Jackson, you all right?
Shalom alechem!
♪♪
Atta girl, Mabel!
One, two, and a right!
And a right!
Mabel, my six-foot dove.
♪♪
♪ O' wines and beers ♪
♪ The goat and sheep die at 29 ♪
♪ And never taste o' scotch and rye ♪
♪ Yet some of them a very few ♪
♪ Stay pickled till they're 92 ♪
♪ Yeah, some of them a very few ♪
♪ Stay pickled till they're 92 ♪♪
My little schoolteacher.
I guess we showed 'em, eh, kitten?
I got north, you take south. Yeah.
Up!
Where to? Straight ahead, on the sofa.
Oh.
Do you think that pair of freeloaders is gonna stop Strawn?
Well, they're gunmen, Jackson. They got a price on their head. They told me.
What a fine place, ma'am.
Nice living room.
Kitchen.
Back of the house.
Bedroom.
You sleep in the barn.
Thank you, ma'am. Always deeper in your debt.
Oh, what a good time I had today.
♪♪
Hey, you always pucker before retirin'?
Get out of here! How did you get in here?
Get out! Why?
If my father knew you were here, he'd kill you.
Oh, you couldn't wake your father with a 21 -gun salute.
Come on in and we'll play spoon!
You are absolutely the most...
Well, I guess I figured wrong.
Where are you going?
Back to the barn. Your father's horse snores, but I've slept through worse.
Oh, no, don't go.
No. Say, I gotta talk to you.
Okay.
We'll talk first.
Well, I-I can't talk with you sittin' right there on the bed like that.
Try.
Clay, my father's a wonderful man. I wonder if you realize that.
- Oh, sure do. - Well, they hate him.
They're trying to drive him off this ranch. They've put manure in his well,
they've made him talk to lawyers,
and they've sent a gunman to drive him off.
- You're dreamin'. - No, he's real! I saw him.
I'll help you pack.
I suppose to a man like you a little farm like this is just dirt.
To him it's his whole life!
Let him fight like a man. I'll help you pack.
You are absolutely useless.
You are absolutely right.
Oh!
Look, why don't you hire yourself a gunfighter? I mean, they got one.
Uh-
- You always make that little... - in the mirror?
Oh, no.
- Where are you going? - The barn.
Don't go.
What now?
Clay, I just don't believe it when you say you're-
you're useless and cynical like that.
I mean, everybody has to have some good in him...
no matter how depraved and cowardly he thinks he is.
You know, you are a sugar plum,
and you'd better watch out,
because there are a lot of people...
that are just as depraved and cowardly as they think they are.
And one of 'em one of these days...
is gonna eat you right up.
Evening, ma'am. Air and moonlight...
sets the bull to talkin' to each other for sure.
What do you want, Uncle? Well, I was just wonderin' if we was stayin' the night.
I'd, uh, take off my boots before goin' to sleep.
Jed, I helped you on the train. Will you help me now? Certainly, ma'am. Anything.
Stay here with us. There's somebody trying to kill my father.
No! Jed-
- Oh, Jed. - We'll stay, ma'am.
- Be our pleasure to do what we can. - We don't need him then.
Oh, I think you do.
And my uncle here ain't never shot at a man. It's against his principles.
Is that true?
Oh, yes, ma'am, that's true. But neither has he.
But we'll stay and do what we can. Yeah.
As long as there ain't no trouble.
♪ Then there came to town ♪
♪ A gun deadly and frightenin' ♪
♪ A gun quicker than lightenin' ♪
♪ Fastest gun you've seen ♪
♪ It was the gun in the hand of ♪
♪ Steel-eyed Kid Shelleen ♪
♪ Just one look at him ♪
♪ Had folks startin' to booger ♪
♪ Wild, wild as a cougar Proud and fierce and mean ♪
♪ There was no man who was tougher ♪
♪ Tough as Kid Shelleen ♪
♪ He had the eyes of a killer ♪ ♪ Cold as the devil ♪
♪ The look of a killer ♪ ♪ The look of a devil ♪
♪ The face of a killer ♪ ♪ That man was the devil ♪
♪ Just wild and ornery and mean ♪
♪ Kid Shelleen ♪
♪ The fastest gun you've ever seen ♪♪
Kid Shelleen.
Come on. You've had a couple of hours to sleep it off.
Let me see what my daughter laid out 50 bucks for.
Well? What's holdin' you up?
No gun. All right, go get it!
I hocked it, I think. St. Louis?
Geez!
You mean you drank up the whole 50 bucks she sent ya?
Fifty bucks!
Now look what you did to him! You could have killed him...
giving him 50 bucks worth of whiskey all at once!
Fifty bucks!
Papa, how was I supposed to know he was a drunk?
Go on and shoot, Kid.
Bang away, old fella.
You'd like a drink better'n a poke in the eye with a sharp stob, wouldn't you?
He did it! He missed the barn!
Sir, if I could just have one little nip to steady my hands.
I had the typhoid real bad. I had a rough trip down here.
If I could just... I didn't get no sleep.
If I could have one little nip, you know. Please.
Jackson? Yeah?
You got that bottle you always carry to make that sheriff mad?
Give him some.
You're an Injun, ain't ya? Yeah.
That's all right. I ain't got nothin' against Injuns.
Yeah, they was a breed of men in the old West.
But it's all over for them just like it is for the gunfighter,
except they didn't give us no reservation or teach us how to weave rugs.
See you later, son.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's all over in Dodge.
Tombstone too. Cheyenne, Deadwood, all gone.
All dead and gone.
Pow!
Why, the last time I come through Tombstone,
the big excitement there was about the new roller skating rink...
that they'd laid out over the OK Corral.
I'll tell you something else. I used to work...
the Buffalo Bill Wild West Show at the Congress of Rough Riders,
and I rescued many a stagecoach passenger...
from road agents and drunken Injuns in the nick of time.
Twice a day, three times on Saturday.
Where did it go?
You see a man with his eyes set...
and his head on the bias like, his teeth anchored like a mule-
Well, he'd just as soon hang your guts on a fence post as say, "Great day in the mornin'."
Well, he a gunfighter, proud and feared o' nothin'.
'Cause ain't nothin' walk on this earth he got to bow down to.
Not a man don't tip his hat, not a boy don't know his name,
and ain't no place he ain't welcome,
because when a gunfighter around,
trouble just naturally stay away, huh?
Folks sayin', "Hiya, Kid. How you doin', Kid?
Come on in and have a pitcher of milk and some gingerbread.
Or come up on the porch and cool your heels for a while. It's hot outside."
Because nobody don't make no fun of a friend of Kid Shelleen.
Miss Ballou, I am here!
I never seen a man get through a day so fast.
You leave him alone.
Cat, I ain't runnin' no dude ranch for misfits and unemployables.
Now, you keep him away from me.
Where are you gonna go now, Kid?
Why, Miss Ballou, you paid me 50 dollars.
I aim to stay and earn it.
He can sleep in the barn, Jackson.
It's my gun. Hmm?
Oh.
Say, uh, Mr. Shelleen? Hmm?
Okay if I carry your valise?
Why, sure, kid.
Oh, I ain't got no cash.
Oh, no need to tip me, sir. It's gonna be a pleasure to see you at work.
Uh, how many in the opposition?
Oh, just one-Tim Strawn.
Well, waste not, want not. Where's that jug of yours?
Strawn. Are you sure?
Yep, silver nose and all.
Let Shelleen do it.
Shelleen isn't in any condition to be-He sure isn't.
Look, I'm counting on you, all three of you.
My papa's a stubborn mule, and he's gonna take chances, and I can't let him.
- You gotta stick with him. - Yes, ma'am.
All right. Everywhere he goes, no matter where.
You unemployables. Now, let's get the day's work done.
Oh, for the love of Mike. A drunk in the bunkhouse...
and a circus act following me around!
Don't let him out of your sight.
Shelleen don't have tobacco, does he? Could set fire to the barn.
No, he's sleepin' it off, poor soul.
Do you mind?
For cryin' up a storm! What do you boys think you're doin'?
Cat said stick with you, and stick it is. She's crazy, I tell ya.
Always has been.
She sees things. Her mother was like that.
In the middle of the night, she seen moon men...
creepin' down the walls.
Now, get away! I could trip on one of you and get trampled in the crowd.
Why was I cursed in my old age...
with a nutty daughter and a bunch of slack-twisted idiots?
Who's here to threaten me? You see anyone over there?
Or there?
Or over that way? Huh?
Do you see anybody anywhere?
Now, stand back and let me breathe!
Drop the gun belts.
No!
Whoa!
You're a murderer!
You're gonna hang! What is it? What's wrong?
You killed my father!
That can't be. He's been sittin' right there all mornin'.
No, I saw him.
He hasn't been out of that rocker all mornin' long.
- It's a fact. - Why do you say that?
Just telling the truth.
So that's the way it's gonna be? Better get out of here.
No! No!
Wait a minute. Get her off of here. Get her out of here!
Cat! Don't you do that! Don't you-
Put that gun away!
Get that gun away from her!
You stop it!
You won't make me cry.
You'll never make me cry.
♪ There are teardrops in her heart ♪
♪ But they can't make her cry ♪
♪ There are teardrops in her heart ♪
♪ But they can't make her cry ♪
♪ She's lost all the kin that she's known ♪
♪ And the tears will turn into stone ♪
♪ All the teardrops in her heart ♪
♪ 'Cause they can't make her cry ♪
♪ It's not very hard to grieve ♪
♪ When you're a little girl ♪ Jackson.
♪ It's not very hard to grieve ♪ Yeah?
Oh, Jackson. ♪ When you're a little girl ♪
♪ But they made a little girl feel ♪
♪ Like a woman made of steel ♪
♪ Makes no difference how they try ♪
♪ They'll never ♪
♪ Make her ♪
♪ Cry ♪♪
You're on private property, ma'am. Get out of my way!
What have you done to him?
Why is he smiling like that? That was hard, little lady.
My father never smiled like that in his whole life.
Well, he'll smile on now forever just as you see him,
free gratis from the Wolf City Development Corporation.
Oh, you slimy rats! Get out of here! Have respect for the dead.
Really! Get out!
We dug a grave behind the barn.
We'll stay to make sure that you leave before morning.
All right. You take the ranch.
I don't want it now he's gone.
But you tell Wolf City that before I'm through,
I'm gonna make Sherman's march to the sea look like a bird walk.
Ma'am?
She ain't got no place to go, Clay.
We'll take her with us.
Are you teched? We can't take her there. Where?
- Hole in the Wall. - Hole in the Wall.
Ma'am, it... it ain't no place for a schoolteacher.
Besides, we don't even know they'll take us in.
Of course they'll take us. It's a place for outlaws, isn't it?
All you need is a price on your head, and you've got that, haven't you?
We sure do.
Then it's all settled, and I'm coming with you.
Yeee-haaaw!
Yeah, I'm loaded for a bear. Let him come.
Anybody wanna try on Frankie Ballou gotta take Kid Shelleen!
Mr. Shelleen, don't you see what's goin' on?
Oh. ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Frankie ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪
♪ So that mournful day ♪
♪ Became part of a legend ♪
♪ The real start of a legend ♪
♪ Known as Cat Ballou ♪
♪ They'll never make her cry ♪
♪ The day the law filled her heart ♪
♪ With a hate that grew ♪
♪ Makes no difference how they try ♪
♪ They'll never make her cry ♪
♪ When you have no tears ♪
♪ Then you gotta have something ♪
♪ Hate really is something ♪
♪ Blood is what you need ♪
♪ They'll never make her cry ♪
♪ And Cat Ballou made her mind up ♪
♪ To make this country bleed ♪
♪ Makes no difference how they try ♪
♪ They'll never make her cry ♪♪
I smell a water hole!
♪♪
Hi, honey! How about a little bubbly?
Later, sister. Bartender!
Hello in there! I want a drink!
What's all the com-
Shelleen! Think of that, Hedda. It's Shelleen!
Cassidy.
What happened to you?
Oh, Calvary, Pinkertons.
The West has changed.
For us, business is lousy.
If we all didn't have a price on our heads, we'd get out of this hole.
Yeah. Why don't we have a drink, for old time's sake?
"Old time's sake." That means you got no cash. Nothin' doin'.
Look.
Hold these for me until I can get some money.
Please, Cassidy.
A matched brace of pistols with carved pearl handles.
Hell, sentimental value alone they're worth five, six hundred dollars a piece.
Them ain't pearl-handled, and they ain't your guns.
Anyways, no good no more, Kid. Nobody cares.
Well, Uncle, I guess we're gonna go back into business.
Remember those fat little Herefords we looked at over in Yatrona County?
Anybody for buying a round? Well, you're gonna need more than just two of us.
What about you, Jackson? I mean, you being an Indian and all.
You just gonna go back to livin' off the land? Are you foolin'?
You try livin' out in these mountains naked, nothin' but a stone ax.
All right, then. The three of us.
We'll amble over to Yatrona County and help ourselves to, uh,
oh, 50 head. 50 head?
That's big. I'll drink to that!
Then it's all settled. Wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it.
You got something to say about our plan? Yes. I'm against it.
Ma'am, I can understand your objection to rustlin',
a girl with your background and gentle upbringin',
but it's the only way we can raise money. No, it's not!
Now what do you think we ought to do that's fittin' and proper?
Rob a train.
That butcher Eggers in Dixon, he'll take 35 head.
He'll take 'em on the hoof and butcher 'em himself.
Well, what about what I said?
Look at this. It's the Wolf City Tribune of two days ago.
Uh-
"200 working men stand poised and ready...
to start working Monday on the largest slaughterhouse this side of Chicago."
Well, what's that got to do with a train?
Working men gotta be paid, don't they?
There's gonna be a payroll coming through.
I don't know, maybe 1,000, 2,000 dollars. I will drink to that!
Can't hold up no train. Lots of reasons. Why not?
- Name 'em. - We're rustlers, not train robbers.
If people didn't try something new, there wouldn't be hardly any progress at all.
Look, now you're out of your mind.
Now, squeeze blood out of them in your dreams.
Build your life anew, ma'am.
This studyin' on revenge is just turnin' your back...
on the future and lettin' the dead past eat at your heart.
They can't even touch us at Hole in the Wall.
And we can use Shelleen's own plan for train robbery.
My plan. Here. Chapter seven.
"The Whiskey Slide and Tuskegon Railroad...
had an armored baggage car that was considered bandit proof.
That was a challenge that made it a matter of pride...
to see that it was robbed soon."
And so on and so on. That plan.
All right!
You all say you love me and are beholden to me,
and "Take it easy, Cat. We're gonna take care of you."
And the first time I ask you to do one little thing for me, like rob one little train-
Now, now, hold on, ma'am!
Listen, Miss Ballou! Now, ma'am-
Some gang! Whoa!
A horse ranch Indian, a drunken gunfighter,
a sex maniac and an uncle!
Ow! Now, look here!
Ow!
Clay Boone and his gang of chicken rustlers! I'm gonna do it alone!
Hey, did we say no?
We'll do it for you!
- You will? - It's the last thing, crazy dame.
That plan?
Well, what in the blue-eyed world?
I'm taking a bath. What's so odd about that?
Oh, I-I-I-I'm lookin' for the baggage car.
Well, it's the other way, man! And-
Pull those drapes. I'm freezing. Uh, yes, sir.
Much obliged. More water.
Yes, sir.
Here she comes.
Come on. We got a job to do.
My word!
Miss?
Help! Let me out of here!
What's that? He's alive!
We've got to let him out.
What happened?
Put up your hands!
And keep 'em up.
Come on.
Cat! Cat, let me in!
Oh, get out!
Who's in charge here? I am.
Well, what's happening? What's the delay? This is a train robbery.
Well, get along with it. I'm trying to take my bath.
Oh!
Here's the safe.
Okay, you, open up.
Nope.
Now, come on, now. Open it.
- I got a gun. - Well, you're just gonna have to use it.
What're we gonna do?
I told you this could happen. What're we gonna do?
What's wrong?
He won't open the safe. Says he'd rather die.
- Is that right, mister? - Yeah.
- 7 left, 26 right, 14 left. - Ya-hoo!
This is more than the $2,000 you said.
Yeah, 40 or 50 thousand, I'd say.
This is a heap of money. They're gonna booger us forever.
Oh, listen to him. He's afraid of a little booger.
Ohh!
I give up. Hand me a towel.
Oh!
Come on, jump. Jump! Jump?
Ya-hoo!
Ya-hoo! You all right? Let's get out of here.
Oh, we did it, my little gang of sweet outlaws!
Say, that messenger seemed like a real nice sort of man.
Oh, Shelleen, it was a great plan.
Yeah, it worked just like clockwork.
Are you sure?
I am so proud of you.
Oh, Jed! It's just beginner's luck.
- Come on, now. We'd better get movin'. - Clay's right, ma'am.
Ask him if he knows how we're gonna get out of here. You did escape in that book?
Of course he did. Oh, you darlin', Shelleen.
We ride out separately in case they try to track us,
then we'll mix up our trail and meet back at Hole in the Wall.
Right. Yeah.
Come on, boy!
Stupid beast!
Oh, damn!
♪ It took a crafty female brain ♪
♪ To stage the holdup of a train ♪
♪ She planned it to the last detail ♪
♪ Until it couldn't fail ♪
♪ This cash-and-carry desperado ♪
♪ Led her gang with cool bravado ♪
♪ They would follow where she'd lead ♪
♪ They made the country bleed ♪♪
♪ Round and round and round they went ♪
♪ Till man and gal and beast were spent ♪
♪ Round and round and round they rode ♪
♪ Oh, what an episode ♪♪
Cassidy, cut your throat.
We robbed old number seven, and you wasn't there.
Drinks! Drinks on the house!
Hedda, you old heifer, we got money.
The train guard- hair all over the six-foot-five of him-
kneeling in front of me prayin', "Kid, Kid, please don't kill me."
Ha-ha! Everything went slicker than-
Where are those kids? They ain't been seen.
Kid, you lend me a bullet?
You remember me, old-old, uh-
I'm telling you, Cassidy.
Them kids are comin' with the payroll.
It was just like old times.
Money, money, money for a rainy day!
Ah, they are here. Cut your throat, Cassidy.
Come on. Help me clear this table, will ya?
Get out there.
Hey, where you two been together all alone? Out losin' that posse.
Cat, was he botherin' you? No, siree, Bob Hannah.
His Uncle Jed was right on the job. Old steel eyes is jealous.
Hey, you got no respect.
Time was I'd take a pimple like you and retch you out and squoze.
What is the matter with you two?
Give the old man a drink, Mr. Cassidy.
No. And there's more where that came from.
You mean it? He really did do it?
We did it, Mr. Cassidy.
My gang. Eh? And this is just the beginning.
We're gonna wipe out Wolf City.
You help me, and I'll make you rich.
Huh?
"Wolf City Development.
Property; H. Percival."
She stole their payroll, Hedda. Of course.
You ever hear of Mr. Sir Harry Percival?
He owns the Wolf City Development,
which owns Wolf City, which lets us alone.
We don't bother them nor Mr. Sir Harry Percival, and they don't bother us.
Sir Harry Percival- that's the man I should be after.
You? How you gonna find him?
- You mean you won't help us? - And cut our own throats?
- Hole in the Wall's impregnable. - No such a-thing.
Takes more trouble than we been worth to dig us out. Now you made it worthwhile.
Some gang of cutthroats and murderers.
We used to whisper your names when we were kids.
Scared to say 'em out loud.
How sad.
You got old.
Count up the shares, Jed.
Give 'em all drinks on Cat Ballou.
Some schoolteacher. Cat Ballou's College of Bust 'Em In the Nose.
What was that for?
I think we'll go to St. Louis.
St. Louis?
Yeah, St. Louis- city on the Missouri,
railhead of the Santa Fe, jump off for the Oregon Trail.
It produces beef, beer, shoes and, uh, some good times.
But why? Well, we got their money.
What's the sense in hangin' around until they come lookin' for it?
But, Clay, we've got 'em where we want 'em. They're desperate.
They're desperate?
Let's go to St. Louis.
Clay, I-I think I love you.
There you go- all serious all of a sudden.
You're just like all the rest of 'em.
You've got to be in love with some guy.
Come on, let's- Don't be so serious.
You know, you're not anything like you think you are.
Oh, no? How's that?
Cowardy custard.
Oh, you're selfish and a little stupid,
but you're not cowardly at all.
Ah, well, I mean, uh-
Say, when you admire a man, you just go all out, don't you?
Love is not blind. I see all your faults.
I know what you're like, and I don't care.
- I love you anyway. - Love, love, love.
I was gonna take you to St. Louis with me.
Just throw our hats in the air.
Now, I don't know. I see trouble comin', and not just from them.
Why? Where else do you see trouble?
Right there...
in those big blue eyes.
Oh, no.
Ain't gonna get tied down with no girl.
No, I'm goin'.
You know, you're gonna get yourself killed.
Well, what do you care?
My death is hardly gonna cause a ripple in St. Louis.
Well, I'm leavin'.
I never promised to be no hero, now, did I?
Well, you're no hero, so don't worry about it.
You got no right to think about me what you're thinkin' about me.
- Well, why don't you just go? - Bye.
Jackson, what's happening?
It's ghost sickness.
What? This Indian religion, see,
we believe what the gods did when they made a man crazy was that...
they made him fall in love.
Well, that's very poetic, Jackson.
But what does that have to do with us? Who's in love? And with who?
With whom?
Well, now, that's another question.
Jackson, what am I gonna do?
Ain't much you can do about it.
I reckon I'll see you later, ma'am.
Jackson, what about you? You'll stay, won't you?
Oh, I get a kick out of being on the winning side for a change.
Sir Harry wants his money, fast.
If you wasn't a girl, I'd split you like a chicken.
Jed!
What do you want, Cat? Oh, Jackson!
That man with the silver nose was here. He's gonna kill me.
Strawn.
Jackson? Oh, Jed, I'm so scared.
You know that valise of mine? Yeah, Kid?
You go find it.
And get a case of cartridges from Cassidy.
It scared me so much.
Ma'am, don't worry none. We're here.
We'll always be here with you, ma'am.
It's... gonna be all right, Cat.
Everything's gonna be okay.
What's in this, Kid?
Want a drink?
No booze.
- No? - No.
♪♪
♪ Why are you weepin' ♪
♪ Weepin', sister ♪
♪ Why are you now all alone ♪
♪ I am old and grey ♪
♪ And I've lost my way ♪
♪ All my tomorrows were yesterday ♪
♪ You bartered your graces ♪
♪ For silks and for laces ♪
♪ Your pure heart you sold ♪
♪ For silver and gold ♪
♪ And now you are old ♪ ♪ And now I am old ♪
♪ Where are your lovers ♪
♪ Where are they, sister ♪
♪ Where have your lovers ♪
♪ All gone ♪
♪ You are old and grey ♪ ♪ I am old and grey ♪
♪ And you've lost ♪ ♪ I've lost ♪
♪ Your way ♪ ♪ My way ♪
♪ All your tomorrows ♪ ♪ All my tomorrows ♪
♪ Were yesterday ♪ ♪ Were yesterday ♪
♪ You bartered your graces ♪ ♪ I bartered my graces ♪
♪ For silks and for laces ♪
♪ Your pure heart you sold ♪ ♪ My pure heart I sold ♪
♪ For silver and gold ♪
♪ And now ♪
♪ You are old ♪ ♪ I am old ♪♪
Hello, Kid.
Long time.
Sit down.
Where have you been keepin' yourself?
You want a job?
Some money?
Not money and not a job.
What then?
Oh. That.
Well, there never was any love lost between us.
Well?
I can't.
Why not?
A gunfight.
Oh, it was just swell.
Just the way I figured it'd be.
Even when we was kids, he was always sneakin' around behind the barn,
tryin' to get behind some kid and back-shoot him.
Well, I know this, see? So when I walk in, I gab with him.
And I figure to call his shot when I turn my back.
Well, he don't even believe it's me.
He thinks I'm still on the booze, like the last time in Tombstone.
When was that? Ten or twelve-
My, oh, my, how that booze'll do your mind.
Fog your mind so you can't remember a darn thing.
Oh, it was just fine.
You and Strawn used to play together when you were children?
He was my brother.
What?
You know, like that time in Tombstone when he...
took my guns away and made me walk down the street,
stripped down to nothin' but my long handles and my hat.
Well, I took him just like the dime novel said.
It was just fine.
Kid, your own brother?
Kid Shelleen and Cat Ballou.
Old steel eyes really brought the roof down. Hold it right there.
Half of Wolf City's on the way up here now?
We'll take 'em like we did the last time, huh, Cat?
They got that Englishman's goons. Must be 50 of 'em.
More comin' on every train. The Englishman?
Sir Harry Percival. Owns that Wolf City Development. He's here himself.
What did they look like?
Are they professional men or just barroom sweeps?
Now you just stop and think. Concentrate, because you are scared and confused.
Big men. Dutch men from Pennsylvania,
uh, Poles from Chicago, Swedes from Dakota.
Hard! You could roller skate on 'em.
Well, with Strawn dead, they're nothin' but barroom sweepin's.
Strawn wasn't nothin' but a hired hand. This is an army.
I'm taking you out of here. Wait.
Are you sure it's him?
That Englishman wants a fight, huh?
We'll give him the biggest gunfight they ever did see.
He wants to die.
I've done everything I ever wanted to. No place I want to go back to.
It'll be history. Kid Shelleen and Cat Ballou.
You sad old bag of guts. You're gonna get her killed too.
Better than dyin' in some cold, dirty old hotel.
Now, I was always afeared of dyin' in the gutter with a belly full of booze,
then Cat came along.
Kid,
there's still places I want to see and things I want to do.
I don't want to die.
Now you're makin' sense. Come on, let's go to St. Louis.
Oh, you don't ever change, do you?
Not St. Louis? How about Sioux Falls? Oh.
Or any place. What's the matter?
You afraid someone's gonna see you with me?
I'll even marry you. Marry me?
That's what I said. I mean, if-
if that's what I got to do to save you, I'll do it.
Of all the self-centered, egotistical things I ever heard!
Why do men always think marriage is the only thing women have on their minds?
Why don't you go fight or wash your socks?
I've been studyin' on it,
and now I'm beginnin' to see.
She loves you, not me.
Come on, now, steel eyes.
And you, all the time laughin' at me.
Silly old man lookin' out for that young thing.
Well, bub, I'm gonna see that you do the right thing.
The right thing? Yeah.
Guns, bottles, fists, knives, clubs.
All the same to me. All the same to you?
- What are you talking about? - Marry her!
She said she don't want me.
- Well, don't listen to her. Marry her! - I can't.
I'm tryin' to tell you, she won't marry me.
At first you don't think you can stand to get hit,
then you realize you can take it,
'cause the blood don't matter, and you know you're gonna live.
It's a great gift I'm gonna give you, to know it don't hurt to fight.
Clay, I oughta straighten you out once and for all.
Hey, leave him alone. He's mine. I'm beatin' up on him.
He's my kin. His morals have been a millstone around my neck all my life.
Aah!
- What was that for? - Well, everybody else was doin' it.
I got a right to share in the fun without regard to race,
creed or color, according to the 14th Amendment.
Can I have my store back now that she's goin'?
What?
- It's Cat. - Where's she goin'?
Sir, a consolation from the town.
Sir Harry Percival, I presume?
Really! Oh!
Roughing it on the frontier, or what?
Delightful.
Oh, you like our wide open spaces.
Oh, positively charming!
Lovely country, lots of fresh air.
I'm getting frightfully healthy, you know.
Oh, it's just simply gorgeous!
Simply gorgeous.
Don't let anybody ever tell you different.
Oh, look at that! A paintin' on the ceilin'.
Oh, yes. That's a Tintoretto.
I'll say it is. Do you like it?
I think it's even more gorgeous than the girl with the cherries above Nellie Paige's bar.
And that's the most gorgeous thing I ever saw.
Ohh!
Hoo-hoo. Ooh!
My name's Trixie.
Oh, Trixie!
Ohh! May I offer you something to drink, Trixie? What would you like?
Bubbly, if you got.
Champagne, Hansen.
They told me you had a wine cellar, but I didn't believe it.
Oh, well, hardly a cellar.
A bin, actually, in the pantry.
You know, I never did see a train like this before.
This is the master bedroom.
Do you approve? Oh, it's swell.
Oh. A regular Tintoretto.
Oh! Do you like the bed?
Oh, do I like the bed?
Oh.
Uh, that will be all tonight.
A little wine with music.
Nineteenth-century science,
Stone Age atmosphere,
caveman passion.
My wallet is in the top drawer.
But you'll never get away with this, Trixie.
My name isn't Trixie, Sir Harry. It's Catherine.
And I'm Frankie Ballou's daughter.
So you're Cat Ballou, huh?
- Sign this. - What is it?
A confession that you ordered the hiring of Tim Strawn...
and are responsible for the murder of my father.
Sign it.
And if I refuse to sign it?
I'll kill you.
Now, why do I doubt that?
Don't you doubt it, Sir Harry. But I do.
I don't think you have it in you, Miss Ballou.
Give me that gun.
♪ Shall we gather at the river ♪
♪ Where bright angel feet have trod ♪
♪ With its crystal tide forever ♪
♪ Flowing by the throne of God ♪
♪ Yes, we'll gather at the river ♪
♪ The beautiful The beautiful river ♪ Well, it's time.
♪♪
Well, come on. Don't just dawdle. Everybody's waiting.
Waiting? Oh, looking forward to it, I might say.
♪ Shall we gather at the river ♪
♪ Where bright angel feet have trod ♪♪ I'm sorry they don't like me.
Well, you can't blame 'em, can you?
Killing Sir Harry put the kibosh on the whole slaughterhouse, didn't it?
No jobs, no payroll.
You took the bread out of half of the mouths of Wolf City.
You haven't got a friend in the world. You ready, Reverend?
Hallelujah, brothers!
I am here to comfort the sinner and return the stray lamb to the fold.
Let them what's troubled, let them what's vexed of mind take heart.
There are many good things of comfort in the Bible, sister.
Indeed there are.
It's a better world we're all bound for,
where trouble don't come around, sister,
and Earthly care is forgotten...
and green pastures wait the tired sinner and honey flows like water.
Kid! Oh, Kid, what a time for you to fall off the wagon!
Look at your eyes.
What's wrong with my eyes?
Well, they're red, bloodshot.
You ought to see 'em from my side.
We're countin' on you, Kid.
♪ Rock of ages, cleft for me ♪
♪ Let me hide myself in thee ♪
♪ Let the water and the blood ♪
♪ From thy riven side which flowed ♪
♪ Be of sin the double cure ♪
♪♪
♪ Rock of ages, cleft for me ♪
♪ Let me hide myself in thee ♪
♪ Let the water and the blood ♪♪ Quiet, please. Quiet! Quiet!
♪♪
If you have any last words, say 'em now.
Let's get on with it.
By virtue and authority vested in me, I order this hanging to proceed.
Thank you, Sheriff.
God bless you. Go, Jackson!
Yaah! Stop them!
Stop 'em! Stop 'em!
Where's Shelleen?
♪ So she rode away ♪
♪ Just where, now is a mystery ♪
♪ But Cat rode into history ♪
♪ And her legend grew ♪
♪ She was the queen of the outlaws ♪
♪ Her Highness, Cat Ballou ♪
♪ Cat Ballou ♪
♪ Well, our story now is true ♪
♪ Cat Ballou ♪
♪ We'll say farewell ♪
♪ To Cat Ballou ♪♪ Ya-hoo!